How Alcohol Servers Can Manage Difficult Customers

Difficult customers are a universal feature of all customer service jobs, but bartenders and other alcohol servers get the bonus of customers with lower inhibitions and impaired judgment. It requires expert-level techniques.

Below, we’ll go over tips for alcohol servers dealing with rude customers, including how to refuse alcohol service professionally. We’ll also discuss how TIPS alcohol training can prepare you for bar conflict resolution.

Why Difficult Customers Are (Sometimes) Your Problem

Before we get into how to handle difficult customers as a bartender, first, let’s tackle why.

First, some difficult customers are a matter of legal responsibility, particularly people under the legal drinking age and those already showing signs of intoxication. Dealing with these customers properly is critical to law-abiding and responsible alcohol service.

There are other kinds of difficult customers that may be your problem because they’re bothering other customers or causing crowd control issues. In some cases, these are your problem because they’re causing trouble that can become a legal or safety issue. In other cases, they’re your problem because they might drive away paying customers.

These are the primary issues you should focus on when it comes to handling difficult customers. Ask yourself three questions: Is the customer starting to cause a legal issue? Are they causing a safety issue? Are they creating an unwelcoming atmosphere for other patrons? If the answer to any of these is yes, you probably need to intervene. 

Preventing Difficult Situations

The best strategy for handling difficult customers is to avoid someone becoming a problem in the first place. There are plenty of things you can work into your regular routine to reduce the likelihood that someone will become a problem.

Practice Awareness

Bartenders are practice high situational awareness can catch potential problems early on.

At the very least, it’s important to know the hallmarks of a fake ID or the signs of intoxication and apply that knowledge continuously.

Great bartenders also know how to protect the overall atmosphere of their business by being aware of the signals indicating hateful or predatory behavior and knowing how to shut it down. When customers know that a bar actively takes precautions for their safety, they’re more likely to spend their time and money there.

Use Techniques to Prevent a Problem

Once you’ve spotted a potential problem, what do you do? Experienced bartenders have all sorts of tricks for subtly steering the behavior of their customers in the right direction.

The classic is probably “slow service.” This is when you deliberately become inattentive to customers who are showing signs of intoxication. You don’t ask if they want another drink, you avoid making eye contact, and you pretend not to notice when they signal you for another. This gives them time to sober up and encourages them to call it a night.

Strategies for Handling Difficult Customers

Whether you’re talking about what to do when a customer refuses to pay for drinks or is acting belligerent, bar conflict resolution strategies all follow a similar set of guidelines regardless of the specifics.

Stay Calm & Professional

The best way to deal with an upset customer, and this goes double for one that’s already impaired, is to stay calm. Resist the natural instinct to match their energy, and speak in a clear, even tone.

Equally important is keeping a professional face. Don’t allow yourself to take bad behavior personally, even when the badly behaved person tries to make it so. Remember that some problems are “them” problems, and all you can do is contain the collateral damage.

Listen, Reflect, and Address

Whenever possible, the key to bar conflict resolution is to solve the problem. Someone’s angry about their drink? Find out why and offer to get them another.

Solving the problem is often a four-step process. Start by assuming there’s a problem you can fix. When you approach the conversation from that point of view, people often calm down from knowing you’re on their side.

Next, you listen to what the person is saying. Sometimes, being allowed to vent can help. Project sympathy, even if it’s just an “oh no” as they tell their tale. Ask follow-up questions if necessary to get to the bottom of things.

Before you offer to solve the problem, repeat your understanding of their complaint to them to be sure you’re on the same page.

Finally, offer a way to make things better. An apology up top is often helpful, but follow it up with some way to make things right. Avoid asking what they think is fair and make a suggestion that’s in the realm of the possible. Starting small and escalating if they’re not satisfied is often best, but use your judgment based on the size of the error and the degree of the customer’s outrage.

Of course, sometimes there’s no reasonable solution that’s going to make the customer happy. In that case, the solution is to politely set a firm boundary that ends the interaction.

Follow Best Practices

There are some problems that are sticky but common: refusing service because you suspect they’re going to pass the drink to a minor, resolving an unclosed tab, or confronting someone who is too drunk to drive home.

This is when you fall back on established best practices. Some of these might be official workplace policies or standard operating procedures (SOPs). Your employer should have a procedure for dealing with tabs, for example, and if you follow their policies, then you shouldn’t have a problem.

In some cases, “best practices” might be as informal as asking experienced bartenders how to refuse alcohol service professionally – what works for them and what not to do – and then heeding their advice.

But in other cases, we’re talking about best practices in the legal sense, and those are the ones that are important to know and follow. For example, offering a safe ride to an intoxicated patron isn’t just customer service for bartenders; it’s a way to limit liability that is recognized in many jurisdictions.

Know When It’s Past Your Pay Grade

Knowing when to involve management, security, or even law enforcement can save you from getting in over your head.

Your responsibilities as a bartender only go so far. The longer you stay involved in a situation that’s getting beyond your control, the more likely you are to make a disastrous decision. If you can pass them off to someone more suited to resolve things, do. If you’re alone, sometimes a threat to call the police is all it takes.

Keep Records

While some people will announce their sinister intentions to break the law, get you fired, or involve you in a lawsuit, you can’t count on it. The decisions you make when handling difficult customers can blow back on you weeks or months after you’ve forgotten the incident. It won’t help to engage in the best bar conflict resolution tactics and follow the best liability-limiting practices if you can’t say with confidence what happened and who witnessed it.

That’s why it’s important to keep notes on any occurrences along the lines of belligerence, harassment, and attempted or threatened violence, along with occasions where you have to refuse service, kick someone out of the bar, or dissuade someone from driving drunk. Note down what you tried and why, along with any witnesses like coworkers, regulars, or members of the customer’s own party.

Share Information

Aside from writing down key information for your own purposes, it’s a good idea to read managers and other staff into any situations that may affect them.

For example, if there’s a customer who was confrontational or argued about their bill, it’s a good idea to tell your boss so they have your story first, and your coworkers so they know the repeat offenders and what to expect.

Legal Considerations for Alcohol Servers

Unfortunately, handling difficult customers goes beyond the question of customer service for bartenders. The behavior of patrons who have been drinking can have legal implications for you, due to the way alcohol service laws are enforced.

Serving a customer who is already showing signs of intoxication is referred to as overserving, and it’s flat-out illegal. Alcohol service laws are enforced in a few ways. The liquor boards that issue liquor licenses may enforce regulations and alcohol laws by suspending or revoking a liquor license, which can motivate business owners to keep their employees within bounds. In other cases, there may be law enforcement monitoring and even undercover operations to catch illegal alcohol sales.

Most states, as well as the District of Columbia, also have something called dram shop liability, in which overserving someone can result in a lawsuit if the person you’ve served causes an accident, hurts someone, or causes property damage.

Bartenders, in addition to bar owners, can be held accountable for damages.

Dram shop liability can be a powerful tool for making sure alcohol servers and business owners keep an active watch for overserving and fake IDs. That’s because, while there are only so many cops and inspectors to enforce alcohol service laws, the U.S. has plenty of people willing to file a lawsuit. You can end up taking a terrible financial hit if your jurisdiction has dram shop laws.

But there’s something worse than being sued. Many states allow criminal charges in serious cases involving illegal alcohol sales. That means, in extreme cases, overserving can land a bartender in jail. It happens!

How Alcohol Training Can Help

Your best tool in avoiding a dram shop lawsuit or criminal charges related to bartending is to understand the law and have practical strategies for recognizing and preventing problems.

That’s why many states, counties, or cities require alcohol server training in these topics. Even when these courses aren’t legally mandatory, business owners may require them because it lowers their insurance premium and reduces the likelihood of you causing them a liquor board infraction.

Then there are bartenders who choose to take alcohol server training even if no one is making them. These might be the savviest category of all – it means you understand the seriousness of alcohol service laws and the potential impact of service mistakes on your life and future.

TIPS is approved for regulatory compliance in many jurisdictions, and it’s a favorite of both business owners and bartenders because it tackles practical strategies and skills for avoiding illegal sales. Plus, it’s online and self-paced, so you can work through the material whenever, wherever, and at whatever speed is best for you!

Enroll today to get started!