Teenage Drinking: How to Talk to Your Kids About Alcohol

As kids transition into their teenage years, they begin to face new challenges and decisions, including the temptations and risks associated with alcohol consumption. The topic of teenage drinking can be daunting for any parent, and we’re here to help. 

As one of the foremost responsible alcohol service training providers, it’s our mission to educate people about alcohol and its effects. Below, we’ll dig into the statistics on underage drinking, how to address the topic effectively, what to do if you catch your teenager drinking, and where to gain more information. 

The Statistics: How Serious Is Underage Drinking? 

Roughly a third of kids will try alcohol at least once before their 21st birthday. According to the 2024 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH), 32.9% of kids between the ages of 12 and 20 admit they’ve had at least one drink in their lives, with 27% admitting to past-year drinking. 

The good news is that “current” underage drinking has declined in recent years, trending with lower alcohol consumption across all age groups. As of 2024, 13.3% of those kids admit to past-month drinking, down from 15.6% in 2021.  

Unfortunately, the percentage of minors in that age group who have engaged in binge drinking (7.5%) and heavy drinking (1.5%) in the past month has held steady. So while fewer kids are experimenting with alcohol, problem drinking has remained the same. 

As you might expect, high school is a particularly vulnerable time. According to the 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS), 22% of high school students admitted to past-month drinking.  

Which high school kids are more likely to drink? While in the early aughts, boys drank more than girls, girls began outdrinking boys by 2013. In 2023, the YRBS found a 4% gap in past-month drinking between girls and boys. The same report found past-month drinking to be higher in white high school students than any other ethnicity (26% vs 12-22%) and LGBTQ+ students to be higher than cisgender heterosexual kids (26% vs 21%). 

The college years bring their own alcohol-related problems, from college binge drinking to alcohol-related hazing. 

Of course, you can’t answer how serious underage drinking is without looking at the statistics on the consequences.  

What Are the Consequences Of Teenage Drinking? 

What happens if you drink alcohol when you're a minor? 

Sometimes nothing terrible. Teenagers are aware of this already, which is why it’s important to talk about the potential dangers of underage drinking in a measured and honest way. They need to know that even if nothing awful happens the first time they drink (or the second), they are putting themselves in a risky state that can catch up with them eventually.  

Underage drinking can threaten a teenager’s life, well-being, and physical safety in a number of ways. Here are some facts: 

• Around 4,000 minors (under the age of 21) die from excessive alcohol use each year, according to the most recent CDC data. 

• Roughly 16% of high school students admitted to riding with a driver who had been drinking in the past month, according to the YRBS. About 5% admit they’ve driven after drinking alcohol. 

• Extreme intoxication (BAC of .31 or higher) can impair your breathing and heart rate. This is called alcohol poisoning.  

• Impaired judgment from alcohol use can increase the risk of becoming a victim of violence, sexual assault, or accidental injury. 

• Early-onset drinking (before the age of 15) increases your risk of developing alcohol use disorder (commonly known as alcoholism). 

• The earlier someone starts drinking alcohol, the more likely they are to experience a measurable impact on cognitive function and memory. Problem drinking in adolescence can shrink parts of the brain responsible for decision-making, learning, memory, and emotional regulation. 

This does not even begin to touch on the emotional, social, and legal repercussions. 

How to Talk to My Son or Daughter About Drinking 

When initiating a conversation with your child about drinking, it's important to approach the topic with empathy, openness, and a non-judgmental attitude.  

Set clear expectations and boundaries. Clearly communicate your expectations regarding alcohol use, emphasizing that underage drinking is illegal and unsafe. Discuss the rules and consequences in your household regarding alcohol and make sure your child understands them. 

Tips for Talking About Teenage Drinking 

When approaching teens about drinking alcohol, here are some tips to follow for effective communication: 

• Maintain a calm, honest, and assertive approach when discussing alcohol with your teenager. 

• If you consume alcohol, acknowledge it, but also clearly explain the differences between the impact on an adult's brain versus a teenager's developing brain. 

• If someone in your family has struggled with addiction or drinking, be honest about it. Allow your teenager to ask any questions they may have about the matter. If there’s a genetic relationship to your child, warn them that they may be at a greater risk for alcohol use disorder. 

• Encourage open dialogue by asking your teen questions and allowing them to provide honest answers, even if they might be difficult to hear. For instance, if you discover alcohol in their room, inquire about where they obtained it, their reasons for having it, and their interest in drinking. 

• Assure your child that they can always approach you with any questions or concerns, or simply engage in conversation. 

• Practice active listening when your child shares their thoughts or experiences. 

• Explain the household rules regarding alcohol and the reasons why it can be dangerous during adolescence.  

• Don’t be afraid to get specific about the physical, emotional, and legal risks associated with underage drinking, but don’t exaggerate the consequences. It can damage your credibility and trustworthiness as a safe source of information. 

Communication about drinking shouldn’t end with the initial conversation. Show interest in your teenager’s social life. Use open-ended questions to inquire about your teen's plans, the people they associate with, or their friends. 

The Importance of Going Beyond “The Talk” 

The truth is that most of your impact on your child’s future behavior related to alcohol is unrelated to any specific words you say on the subject.  

As a parent, it’s your job to be a positive role model. Your actions speak louder than words. It’s important to model responsible behavior when it comes to alcohol consumption and demonstrate healthy ways to manage stress or social situations without relying on alcohol. We know from research about the early onset of alcohol use that children of parents who frequently drink or openly discuss drinking are more prone to trying alcohol at an earlier age.  

Building a loving and supportive relationship with your child is just as crucial, along with maintaining open lines of communication. Teenagers who have a close and supportive bond with their parents or guardians are more likely to wait until they’re older to drink. This is because they are less susceptible to peer pressure, thanks to higher self-esteem, and because they feel comfortable seeking your guidance when they have questions. 

Moreover, having a close relationship with you motivates them to meet your expectations rather than rebel against them, fostering a sense of mutual trust and respect. Further research supports the idea that parenting styles combining discipline, rules, and boundaries with warmth and kindness are the most effective when talking to your child about drinking.  

What to Do if You Catch Your Teenager Drinking  

You may be wondering what to do if you find out your teenager is drinking or suspect you’re seeing signs of intoxication.  

Here are some steps to consider if you catch your teenager drinking: 

1. Stay Calm and Composed  

It's essential to approach the situation with a calm and composed demeanor. Reacting with anger or becoming overly confrontational may hinder effective communication. 

If you need to give yourself space to calm down before you approach the conversation, it’s a good idea to do so. 

2. Choose an Appropriate Time for Discussion  

Find a suitable time to talk when both you and your teenager are free from distractions and can have a private conversation. Ensure that you have enough time to discuss the matter thoroughly. 

3. Express Your Concerns  

Begin the conversation by expressing your concerns about their drinking behavior. Focus on the potential risks and consequences associated with underage drinking, emphasizing your worries for their well-being and future.  

4. Listen Actively  

It’s natural to try to gather information before addressing the issue with your teenager. In fact, this can be useful to help you get to the truth. But don’t jump into the conversation with specific details and accusations.  

Give your teenager an opportunity to explain their perspective, motivations, and feelings. Practice active listening and show empathy to better understand their reasons for engaging in underage drinking. 

5. Gather More Information  

Beyond the details of a single incident, it’s important to get a sense of their drinking habits and history. How long have they been drinking? How often do they drink? How many drinks do they have at a time?  

These answers can give you a way to gauge the scope of the problem.  

6. Set Appropriate Consequences 

Depending on the severity of the situation, establish appropriate consequences that are aimed at teaching rather than punishing.  

These consequences should be related to the incident, proportionate, and focused on learning and growth. For example, restricting social privileges, implementing a curfew, or temporarily removing access to certain activities.  

7. Provide Education and Support  

Offer information about alcohol and its effects, as well as the importance of making responsible choices. Provide resources such as educational materials, websites, or books that can help them understand the risks and consequences better. 

8. Maintain Open Communication  

After addressing the issue, emphasize that your goal is to support and guide them in making better choices. Encourage ongoing communication, where your teenager feels comfortable discussing their concerns or experiences without fear of judgment. 

Appropriate Consequences for Teenage Drinking 

When addressing teenage drinking, it is important to consider consequences that are appropriate, constructive, and effective in helping teenagers understand the potential risks and make responsible choices.  

Here are some examples of appropriate consequences for teenage drinking: 

Open and Honest Discussions  

Engage in calm and non-judgmental conversations with your teenager about the dangers and consequences of underage drinking. Listen to their perspective, address their concerns, and provide information to help them make informed decisions. 

Privilege Restrictions  

If your teenager has engaged in underage drinking, consider temporarily restricting certain privileges, such as limiting their access to social events or requiring them to come home earlier than usual.  

This can serve as a reminder of the importance of following rules and making responsible decisions, but it can also limit their opportunities to reoffend.  

Counseling or Therapy  

If your teenager's drinking habits become concerning or problematic, consider seeking professional help. A counselor or therapist can provide guidance, support, and strategies to address underlying issues and develop healthy coping mechanisms. 

The aim of appropriate consequences is to guide and educate rather than punish. It is essential to maintain open lines of communication, show understanding, and reinforce the importance of responsible decision-making throughout the process.  

Education Prevents Underage Drinking 

At TIPS, we understand the importance of preventing underage drinking.  

Our courses help alcohol servers understand the seriousness and consequences of teenage drinking and arm themselves with the skills to spot fake IDs and second-party sales. By preventing underage drinking at the source, we like to think we’re good partners in keeping your children safe. 

In fact, you may find our course information useful! Consider our alcohol certifications as a starting place for learning more about the effects of alcohol, myths versus truths, and how to recognize signs of intoxication.